The invention discloses a remote assisted setting method. The method comprises following steps of receiving a current setting parameter by a server, wherein the current setting parameter is uploaded by a first terminal; sending a first notice message to a second terminal, wherein the first terminal requests the second terminal to carry out remote assisted setting; receiving an updating setting parameter which is uploaded by the second terminal and is generated by modifying the current setting parameter according to the first notice message; sending a second notice message to the first terminal according to the updating setting parameter, thus enabling the first terminal to obtain the updating setting parameter from the server; and updating the setting of the first terminal based on the updating setting parameter. The invention also discloses a remote assisted setting server, terminal and system. According to the method, the server, the terminal and the system, the data bandwidth and data traffic demanded in a remote assisted setting process can be greatly reduced; the data resource consumed by the terminal is saved; the condition in the prior art that IP traversing cannot be carried out between the terminals under different operator network environments can be solved; and moreover, online and offline those two modes of remote assisted setting can be supported at the same time.