The invention involves the producing method of a kind of rubber softener with good compatibility. it belongs to the producing technology field of rubber assistant. in this invention, it needs to process the fruit powder of Swida wilsoniana with potassium hydroxide and normal butanol into liquid and the liquefied solution is achieved. Then heat the compound matters of octadecyl trimethyl ammonium bromide, tetrabutyl titanate, xylene and other matters and the reacted solution is achieved. After the still standing, it separates in layers. Take the upper layer liquid and react by hydrothermal method. Dry the generated reactions and grind them. Then heat and mix them together with the liquefied solution and linoleic acid palm oil and we can achieve the rubber softener with good compatibility. The rubber softener with good compatibility producing in this way and the rubber raw materials are of good compatibility. The tensile strength of the rubber is also improved and it can reach 19.56 - 20.12 MPa. The raw materials are easy to get and the processing is quite simple. Therefore, the products are quite popular in the market and have good industrialization future.