In some embodiments, a substantially thermally sealed storage container includes an outer assembly and an evaporative cooling assembly integral to the container. In some embodiments, the outer assembly includes one or more sections of ultra efficient insulation material substantially defining at least one thermally-controlled storage region, and a single access conduit to the at least one thermally-controlled storage region. In some embodiments, the evaporative cooling assembly integral to the container includes: an evaporative cooling unit affixed to a surface of the at least one thermally-controlled storage region; a desiccant unit affixed to an external surface of the container; a vapor conduit, the vapor conduit including a first end and a second end, the first end attached to the evaporative cooling unit, the second end attached to the desiccant unit; and a vapor control unit attached to the vapor conduit.