A relay apparatus according to the present invention includes reception means for receiving a remote operation request, storage means for associating first identification information related to a controlled-side communication apparatus or a controlled-side user that is remotely operated with second identification information related to a control-side communication apparatus or a control-side user that remotely operates the controlled-side communication apparatus to store the first identification information in association with the second identification information as permission information, determination means for comparing the first identification information and the second identification information included in the permission information with the first identification information and the second identification information included in the remote operation request, respectively, to determine whether to allow the remote operation, and transmission means for generating a control message to transmit the control message upon determination in the determination means that the remote operation is allowed. According to the configuration, it is possible to start remote operation without requiring the controlled-side user to start up the server by himself/herself in response to the request for the remote operation.