A system for controlling the presence of a user perceived by contacts is provided. In particular, a rules engine receives a number of inputs related to the desired accessibility of the user, and from such inputs generates a perceived presence for the user that can be used to control how the user is notified of an incoming communication. Inputs may include an accessibility rating assigned to a contact, the physical presence of the user, the user selected desired accessibility level, and environmental factors. The system allows a user to limit distractions from unimportant contacts or while the user is engaged in other tasks, while allowing more important contacts to have immediate access to the user.