A parental control system is used to verify the identity of parents, based on children's instant messaging aliases. A plurality of verified parental accounts is maintained, each of which includes the identity of the parents and their children, including the children's instant messaging aliases. When a first child wishes to electronically communicate with a second child, s/he makes a request which includes the second child's alias and additional information identifying the target party. Only if an account containing the alias is found and the additional information can be verified, an identity verification request is transmitted, disclosing the identity of the first child's parents, and requesting reciprocal identity verification. Only if the second child's parents disclose their identity is the instant messaging between the children permitted.