A fracturing and gravel packing tool has features that prevent well swabbing when the tool is picked up with respect to a set isolation packer. An upper or jet valve allows switching between the squeeze and circulation positions without risk of closing the wash pipe valve. The wash pipe valve can only be closed with multiple movements in opposed direction that occur after a predetermined force is held for a finite time to allow movement that arms the wash pipe valve. The jet valve can prevent fluid loss to the formation when being set down whether the crossover tool is supported on the packer or on the smart collet.