A method for allowing selective display of past instant messages includes establishing an instant messaging session among at least two participants. Each participant has an associated computer system, with all of the associated computing systems in communication across a network. A list of instant messages between the at least two participants is displayed on monitors associated with the computing systems. At least one instant message is selected from the list of instant messages using an access control. At least one new participant is invited to join the instant messaging session. When the selected at least one instant message corresponds to the at least one new participant, the selected at least one instant message is displayed on a monitor used by the at least one new participant.