Technologies for adjusting the performance of data storage devices based on telemetry data include a compute device with a compute engine. The compute engine is configured to receive, with communication circuitry and through a network, telemetry data indicative of a present configuration and performance of each of multiple data storage devices, determine, as a function of the received telemetry data, a replacement configuration to improve the performance of one or more of the data storage devices, and send, with the communication circuitry, responsive data that is usable by the one or more of the data storage devices to improve the performance of the one or more data storage devices.